Los Angeles Realization

I HATE driving.

I have had my license about 6 months, and 4 of those months were spent in New York, where I used a very organized and reliable public transport system. Los Angeles does not have one of these, unfortunately.

Last Friday I drove to Santa Monica on the freeways to have a beach bike ride with Amanda and Jordan, which was the longest distance I've ever driven and only the 4th time I've been on the freeways. (Pictures from the pier to follow!) To say this experience was traumatic would be an understatement. The way there was fine since we were excited to have actually found the beach and the sun was still up. The way home was dark and busy and filled with angry drivers, swerving cars (mine included) and neglected blinker lights (my biggest driving pet-peeve!)

I realized that while I was driving I felt like a pre-programed robot who's only task was to push a pedal whenever the car in front of me flashed its blinker lights. While Amanda and Jordan were both napping, I felt alone and as if my name had been switched for a number--all individuality lost, just a robot maneuvering machinery in accordance with rules someone else created and that I have no control over.

How can I move permanently back to a city where this feeling and experience is part of the daily routine? I found myself fervently missing the subway, since that experience is a group effort, something the people of New York do together--nothing like the rote process of driving. When I think or discuss this dilemma with others, I always remember the quote from the movie Crash that won the Oscar for Best Film a couple years back. It was specifically talking about Los Angeles in comparison to other cities with more condensed organizations and efficient public transportation. The movie said something like since Angelinos don't have a city where human connection and interaction is constant, but instead an impersonal, lonely practice of driving, they or we want to crash into each other in more volatile and, according to the film, violent means.

I hope I can make peace with this city, because no matter where I adventure to, it's home!